Just Enough of My Blog, But Way too Much of Yours

Over at Marty's blog, he goes over some stats with us. He is about the 70,000th most read blog which puts him in the top half of one percent of all bloggers. Clearly there are WAY too many people blogging, and it's time somebody did something about this. I mean, c'mon, who is going to read my blog when there are millions of other blogs distracting and confusing all of my potential readers?

It's time for all you other bloggers out there to stop. We need to institute some "voluntary" blogger abortions. I say we start with all Delaware based blogs, because seriously, who cares? Next we should look to the inspirational and successful blogger reduction programs in China and Iran. Those governments have had a high degree of success using new technology to weed out millions of blogs, of which most would have been of poor quality or irrelevant material.

Blogging is growing by leaps and bounds, and unless we stop the growth, and institute programs to reduce blogging levels, we will simply have an unsustainable situation that will eventually lead to the crashing of the internet. WE MUST ACT NOW!

Now on another and completely unrelated note, I read an interview with John Seager who is the CEO of Population Connection, or formerly known as Zero Population Growth. If you can bear to read through his confused and muddled manner of speech, you can read it here. Seager is worried there are too many people. It's not the people for people's sake, it's that people lead to global warming and that leads to all sorts of bad things. It makes me wonder what buggaboo Malthus pointed to 400 years ago when Global Warming wasn't a readily available harm...

(There were population concerns 400 years ago?)

Yep, goes all the way back to the later Roman Empire. We've always been worried about too many people, and yet - here we are).

Seagar was asked what the ideal population of the Earth was. His answer wasn't direct, but it was certainly interesting: "The impact is extraordinary, and I have to say that I'm not sure even zero population growth gets us to the point where we can address it. But I think we have to look at that as some kind of final goal."

Hmmm... so even zero growth won't work, eh? Well, then let the extermination begin!

Step One: Abortions - and lots of 'em! $2 billion worth to be exact. You can abort a bunch of brown and yellow babies with $2 billion!

(Note from appalled readers - Gilles you racist! Seagar never said abort any particular race. How dare you assert such a thing!)

Oh I dare, I dare. Let's see here... white russian population - decreasing; white European population - decreasing, white North American population - holding steady. Now the dirty little secret of the population growth activists is that the only growing populations are all those with brown or yellow hues. You stop any more of them from coming into the world, you get your "zero population growth". This is pretty convenient for the latent racists.

Step two is for John Seagar and the Silver Condom Band to distribute them far and wide and fully discredit abstinence programs. I think my favorite example of muddled thinking comes from this quote: "We would love to see an amendment offered to the effect that all sex education programs in this country have to be medically accurate. That amendment would fail in the House of Representatives because it would mean a death knell for the abstinence-only programs."

Riiiiiiight, because abstinence is not medically accurate... Seems to me it works every time it's tried. I even think the medical community might back me up on that one. But what do I know, I'm just a crazy puritanical reactionary.

Speaking of crazy puritanical reactionaries, step three is to follow the successful, "scientific", programs instituted by Iran in 1989. Iran dropped from an average of 5 kids per family to 2.5. Now those Mullahs know how to curb population growth! Seagar didn't go into any details of HOW this was achieved, but I'm going to take a wild guess and assume their methods wouldn't fly over here. Remember, this isn't John Ashcroft's America anymore.

At this point some of my more clever readers might recall first few paragraphs of this post. If any outrage was felt by the bloggers, I apologize. But I encourage you to bottle that outrage and realize Seagar wants the same thing - however, instead of killing off a cool internet publishing toy, he wants to kill off populations of PEOPLE!!!!

Sure, it might be easier if we could just kill every last person in this world who might annoy or inconvenience us. But we generally rise above the frictions of sharing space with others with manners and a good dose of technology.

I suggest Seager and his ilk show us some real leadership on this issue and go take a flying leap. Or at the very least, terminate all their blogs.