Destroy the Hurricane!
If we have learned one thing from Hurricane Katrina, it is that the only useful arm of the government is the military. It took the Army's involvement and leadership to offset the bumbling incompetence of the Mayor of New Orleans and the weak kneed indecisiveness of Louisiana's Governor. A friend of mine once said that Republicans are genetically pre-disposed towards leadership. After witnessing last weeks handling of Katrina vs. Rudy and Pataki in NY - I'm moving that theory up to global warming plausibility.
Seeing as how the military is all we've got to rely on, it's time to put Bush's policy of pre-emption to work. We must destroy the hurricane before it gets us!
We could bomb the sucker! But it turns out that hurricanes thrive on heat. Any bomb would just add to it, potentially making it stronger. You'd also need lots of bombs to have any hope of disrupting the eyewall. Use a nuke? Well, a medium sized hurricane puts off the same amount of heat energy as 400 hydrogen bombs. We might just end up with a radioactive super heated category 7 hurricane. Let's hold off on this solution.
Dry ice, and lots of it! Again, you'd need massive amounts of dry ice to make a dent. You could put the ice in the ocean, or an ice berg, but you'd have to be able to perfectly track the hurricane. And again, you'd need enough ice to cool off 400 hydrogen bombs. My reading suggested this solution is like trying to warm up Minneapolis in January by opening your window. Since I don't pay the natural gas bill, I shall implement this experiment this winter and report in February.
There was a time when the government took this problem seriously. It was called project STORMFURY, which must be the greatest name ever for a government project. The idea was to seed the eyewall with silver iodide that would create ice crystals, the snow would fall, clouds would grow larger, and the eye wall would weaken and a second, wider eyewall would form. A wider eyewall is weaker than a tight eyewall for the same reason an ice skater spins faster when she pulls in her arms.
In 1961 Hurricane Esther's growth was stopped and appeared to weaken after seeding. In 1963 Hurricane Buelah was seeded to postive results. In 1969 Hurricane Debbie was seeded and lost windspeed from 115MPH to 80MPH. Success!
However some scientists poo-poohed the results saying that other, larger natural forces had more impact than the seeding. There was also some international concern since a few of these seeded hurricanes ended up hitting Cuba instead of their projected Florida landfalls. I say it sucks to be Cuba, but the State Department disagreed and project STORMFURY was shut down in the early 70's and was considered scientifically inconclusive.
Now this fella has some nifty ideas that the military already has the means. If you can get past the swastika super imposed on the hurricane satelite view and his references to the "fascist Bush family" using the state of Florida as a hurricane weapons testing platform (which of course helps keep poor people from voting and FEMA dollars flowing to buy elections), he believes that the military is using earth frequency waves to control the weather, emotions, and conduct mind control - which is also useful in winning elections. If this guy is right, the military has the means to create happy thoughts, steer hurricanes away, and vote Republican. Let's cross our fingers.
Seeing as how the military is all we've got to rely on, it's time to put Bush's policy of pre-emption to work. We must destroy the hurricane before it gets us!
We could bomb the sucker! But it turns out that hurricanes thrive on heat. Any bomb would just add to it, potentially making it stronger. You'd also need lots of bombs to have any hope of disrupting the eyewall. Use a nuke? Well, a medium sized hurricane puts off the same amount of heat energy as 400 hydrogen bombs. We might just end up with a radioactive super heated category 7 hurricane. Let's hold off on this solution.
Dry ice, and lots of it! Again, you'd need massive amounts of dry ice to make a dent. You could put the ice in the ocean, or an ice berg, but you'd have to be able to perfectly track the hurricane. And again, you'd need enough ice to cool off 400 hydrogen bombs. My reading suggested this solution is like trying to warm up Minneapolis in January by opening your window. Since I don't pay the natural gas bill, I shall implement this experiment this winter and report in February.
There was a time when the government took this problem seriously. It was called project STORMFURY, which must be the greatest name ever for a government project. The idea was to seed the eyewall with silver iodide that would create ice crystals, the snow would fall, clouds would grow larger, and the eye wall would weaken and a second, wider eyewall would form. A wider eyewall is weaker than a tight eyewall for the same reason an ice skater spins faster when she pulls in her arms.
In 1961 Hurricane Esther's growth was stopped and appeared to weaken after seeding. In 1963 Hurricane Buelah was seeded to postive results. In 1969 Hurricane Debbie was seeded and lost windspeed from 115MPH to 80MPH. Success!
However some scientists poo-poohed the results saying that other, larger natural forces had more impact than the seeding. There was also some international concern since a few of these seeded hurricanes ended up hitting Cuba instead of their projected Florida landfalls. I say it sucks to be Cuba, but the State Department disagreed and project STORMFURY was shut down in the early 70's and was considered scientifically inconclusive.
Now this fella has some nifty ideas that the military already has the means. If you can get past the swastika super imposed on the hurricane satelite view and his references to the "fascist Bush family" using the state of Florida as a hurricane weapons testing platform (which of course helps keep poor people from voting and FEMA dollars flowing to buy elections), he believes that the military is using earth frequency waves to control the weather, emotions, and conduct mind control - which is also useful in winning elections. If this guy is right, the military has the means to create happy thoughts, steer hurricanes away, and vote Republican. Let's cross our fingers.
posted by Bill Gilles | 2:17 PM
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