Canada is Gay

I have been getting much flak from Aaron about my lack of posts. He has introduced me to a web counter that I have implemented. The hope is that I will see such overwhelming demand that my previously established catholic guilt will kick in thus leading to more posts and more restless sleep. However, I suspect there are 6 people who read this... you know who you are. If that's the case, the guilt level just won't be that high and you can expect the same level of sporadic posts.

I was listening to Ron & Mark's radio show this morning and they were talking about the fact that Canada is about to legalize gay marriage through legistlation. They, and I, find it incredible that gay marriage will come to Canada in a legitimate form, whereas in the US the only way gay marriage will come about is through the courts. Even liberal states like Oregon rejected gay marriage 58-42 in referendum and there isn't a state house in the land who will touch it.

So what gives? How is it that Canada is that much different than the US? The popular explanation on the radio show is that the fundamentalist religious types never took off in Canada. For the most part, Canada remains a bastion of Episcopalian. This would certainly explain a lot. Most of your fundamentalist Christians... sheesh, let's just call them the religious right, tend to take the moral teachings of the bible seriously and thus look down on things like sodomy, gambling, drinking and dancing... if you're into the whole Footloose thing.

Episcopalians on the other hand... well, they lost their moral mandate long ago. Forget all the recent hub-bub over gay bishops and the schism that is forming, the empty albeit quaint churches, and their crisis of clergy (imagine that, a clergy crisis despite allowing them to marry). I would argue the Episcopalian Church NEVER had a moral mandate. Why is there a Church of England? Frankly, the King of England wanted a divorce. So we have a whole religious schism based on the all important theological argument that kings should be able to get divorced. Excuse me for not taking them all that seriously.

So in Canada, you have a culture whose values are based on a church that came about to coddle the King's promiscuity. But this is true in England, New England, and New York - and none of these places have a majority of elected leaders clamoring for legalized gay marriage.

So my only conclusion - Canada is gay. They are an effeminate nation that has a peace at any cost foreign policy, their greatest exports are touchy feely theatre types and putting the lumber to our mills. And as Homer adroitly pointed out to the Queen, Canada has never had a girlfriend. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Canada is an amusing microcosm of what America would be like if a bunch of French speakers ran the country. It's amusing because it mostly doesn't matter. We'll never let Canada truly flush themselves down the toilet of history. The US simply has too much invested and we won't let anyone cross their borders without our go ahead. Europe on the other hand, is the not so amusing, not so micro version of what socialism and libertine-ism can do to destroy a culture, economy, and demographic. But that is another post on another day, assuming my new counter registers enough guilt.

In Search of Self

My blog readers may have noticed my absence from the blogosphere the last few days and they too may have been in search for my self. But I found it! I'm right here. Much time was spent haggling over houses, hanging at the lake, and playing a new computer game where my Turkish legions were destroyed by the French Army. I returned the defective game yesterday and got a new one.

But the most important finding in the search for self (besides forcing computerized Frenchies to come up with a word for "victory") was this quiz linked on Tony's blog - Theological Worldview

As it turns out, I'm Catholic:
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You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you.

Roman Catholic - 93%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan - 79%

Charismatic/Pentecostal - 75%

Neo orthodox - 75%

Classical Liberal - 64%

Fundamentalist - 57%

Reformed Evangelical - 50%

Modern Liberal - 39%

Emergent/Postmodern - 36%
-----------------------------
I'm proud of the fact that I scored in the solid 90's. I like the certainty that comes with that. Tony listed his results and his highest score was a 71 in the 'Classic Liberal' column. Such uncertainty... ;-)

Fat, Happy, and Sunburned

Today was why God made Minnesota. A clear sky, temps in the mid-80's, thousands of lakes, and a friend from the dog park with a boat and bit of vacation time. We went out to Lake Elmo for a couple of hours between 11 and 1 ~ on the summer solstice. This was about the only sun I've gotten this year, and it might be the last. Pain is beginning to radiate from my upper arms and recently scarlet seared lower back. The dogs had a good time and even my pooch Maggie began to willingly play in the shallows after a somewhat traumatic swimming lesson. For a dog that gets spooked by her water dish, this was a big step forward.

My friend was wearing some of those sporty, plastic, mirrored sunglasses, and from time to time I saw this frighteningly white blob reflected off his shades. It took me quite awhile to realize I was witnessing my own, glorious, pale, highly reflective body. If I go out tomorrow, that blob will appear to be an infrared heat signature.

A game of book tag has been going around the internet. Aaron tagged me earlier today, so here goes:

Total number of books owned, ever:
I have no idea. Let's call it between 150-200. I've read all but 5 or 6 of them. I'm a sucker for book series so I tend to own a lot of one author. Probably 10 Tom Clancy's, 10 Robert Heinlein's, 6 PJ O'Rourke's, 7 John Fitzgeralds, and so on.

Last book I bought:
I'm not sure. I've been reading my roommates books recently and borrowed my current book from someone else and will borrow my next book (State of Fear - Micheal Crighton). I bought 10 copies of MN local and secret vigilante Anne Ursu's Spilling Clarence for Christmas gifts. Ms. Ursu also took the time out to sign and personalize each book, thus making her my favorite author EVER. Sorry Tom Clancy, you never single-handedly obliterated my christmas shopping list. It's hard to believe I've gone 6 months without buying another book... oh wait! I bought Michael Crighton's thriller on nanos, Prey, for a flight home from LA in February. I think it was $2.98 or $13.43 after california taxes. I'll go with Prey. But then again, as part of a gift basket at a golf outing in May, I received "Chicago Golf, the first 100 year". However, I will never read that book and its not like there's a receipt.

Last book I read:
I've been on a Tom Clancy kick as of late. I've reread Sum of all Fears, Debt of Honor, and Executive Orders. The Bear and the Dragon is the next and last of the Jack Ryan series, but I didn't like it the first time. I'm about 3 pages shy of finishing "Bringing Down the House" - a quick read about the MIT black jack team. I stayed up late last night reading that one and then had weird dreams where a casino pit boss helped me retrieve a check that fell out of my wallet and later I was attacked with a knife wielding black jack player I was trying to recruit. I find it interesting that the roles of good guys and bad guys switched places in my dream. Must have something to do with Hoplin being a republican...

Five books that mean a lot to me:
This was easy since they are all listed in my blog profile. To rehash:

• Tom Clancy - Without Remorse
• Paul Johnson - Modern Times
• Ayn Rand - Atlas Shrugged
• Ann Ursu - Spilling Clarence
• Robert Heinlein - Time Enough for Love

When it comes to Clancy, I like pretty much all his work. He's easy to read and addresses my favorite topics of war, espionage, and politics. He gets a little weak on the politics when he makes Jack Ryan the President, but the other stuff is always top shelf. I chose Without Remorse, although I am torn between that and Clear and Present Danger as my favorites.

Paul Johnson has written a slew of books, with Modern Times being the first and most favored. It barely nudges out History of the American People. History of the Jews was a bit slow and I haven't yet gotten to Intellectuals and History of Christianity. However I'm guessing it is slightly more fact based than Dale Brown's crap.

Ayn Rand - Fountain Head is the better book in a literary sense, but Atlas shrugged is the better political tome. I read both later in my political development, and thus quickly recognized Atlas Shrugged was probably the foundation for many of the writers at Reason who I read through High School.

Ann Ursu is a gracious, wonderful person who signed my books for Xmas presents. She also keeps the world safe for Twins fans and oh yeah, she's a great author who sets up and then explores interesting psychological experiments. And since she's a local, your bound to find yourself cracking up when its revealed that her characters go to "Ventura Grade School". She writes children very well, as well as Judy Blume, and her adult characters tend to take on a severe personality that fully explores an emotional archetype.

Heinlein is the best sci-fi guy ever. I'm a big fan of Orson Scott Card (Ender's Game et al), but Heinlein is king. Time Enough for love is my favorite and probably his best effort at mixing his politics and his main character in a smooth plot, but Starship Trooper was my first and also had the clearest presentation of his libertarian military republic. Always a quick read.

I have no one else to tag who has a blog. Since I know Franklin is a reader, I shall invite him to be tagged in the comments section.

Did internet kill the High School reunion?

This is an honest to god question. Many of my friends are coming up on their 10 year reunion sometime this summer or in the next couple of years. But I'm not hearing much talk. Mine will be later this year in September back in good ole Topeka. Earlier this year I was so-so about going, but thought I might. However, every conversation I've had with fellow alum have pushed me towards a French-like response to the EU - NON!

No one who I care to regularly have contact with post-High School is going. Some are adamant about it and others simply don't care. To be fair, I don't know who IS going beyond the list of organizers, none of which would be on my small talk rotation if I did go.

I consulted with Mr. Jim who is also having his reunion this year. Mr. Jim went to a small and specialized high school that graduated about 70 in his class. His reunion committee put the thing up on evite so he can tell who is and isn't going. About 13 people have confirmed, 25 said no, with about half of them making comments such as "Hell No!" or the equivalent, and 1 poor confused 'Maybe' person. So the total response rate is about half, and those that care to respond are 2-1 against going. This might come as a shocker to some, but Mr. Jim is in the 'no' category.

So are reunions passe? Has the internet, cheap flights, and cellular phone service allowed us to break away from the bonds of proximity induced relationships to choose our friends from a far greater and far less restrictive pool of potential? Or am I just part of a large group of introverted techno-nerds that would rather blog about life than be around real people?

I suppose the answers aren't mutually exclusive, but I'd love to get some feed back on this one.

Hunting the most dangerous game...

I've been house hunting for the last 9 weeks to no avail. I guess I couldn't be described as a motivated buyer. So far I've put in 4 bids, all of which fell through. The first three are pretty easy to understand, I was under bidding the market hoping to take advantage of someone's frustration at a long market time. I was known far and wide to this land's realtors as the "low baller"... (mental note - do not refer to self as "low baller" ever again)

The fourth house went all the way to inspection. This was an older house in NE Minneapolis that had been rehabbed, sort of. The inspector just tore this place apart. The garage needed replacing, the shingles were tacked down to wet cardboard, the flashing lead to flooding, the windows let in moisture, paint was cracking and peeling from moisture on the inside, the basement stunk of recent and frequent flooding and the attic - not a lick of insulation.

This particular house was indicative of our times. When built in 1918, the house was large, had a good deal of charm, and the original woodwork that could be found was classy. However, in the 50's and 60's NE was turned into a ghetto, mainly by new deal and great society legistlation. People with money fled to the burbs and left these large beautiful homes behind in the city. The people left behind couldn't afford a WHOLE house, so contractors came in and "rehabbed" the old homes into duplexes and apartments.

This poor particular house must have been hit in the late 50's after a time of abandonment. Most of the nice old wood work was ripped out and replaced with poor quality generic 50's material that had little character or reason to salvage. At some point parts of the basement had been finished off, probably creating a third apartment. A part of the great front porch had been converted into a very small bedroom and a gas line was run upstairs for the kitchen.

Any family unit larger than 2 would have been most uncomfortable in any of the sub units of this house. Considering the underlying wear, this house most likely housed whole families in each unit, probably a total of 10-15 people at a time - yikes!

Over time traffic congestion, reduced crime, and a fix up culture emerged to spark urban renewal in the 90's. This particular house and many like it in NE were de-duped and returned to single family homes. Overall this has been good for the neighborhood and the old homes that retained their charm. But some homes, this one included, are beyond hope.

This is long ways to go for an analogy, but this applies to many ideas from the new deal/great society era. Now that the stage is set, expect more specific analysis in the days to come.

Comedy, thy name is Hoplin

Well it didn't take long. I do a blog on credibility and how it is key for the old media and the bloggers, and within minutes of finishing that post I get a tip on my favorite example of the un-credible, which is really in-credible.

Check out the MN GOP site - second entry down is the news that Eric Hoplin won the vice chair. Within that tidbit is this quote, "Eric was the only Minnesotan to address the 2004 Republican National Convention." Uhhhh, really?!? According to the RNC convention agenda, on August 31, Sen. Norm Coleman R-MINNESOTA addressed the convention. I know Norm has a funny accent, but c'mon!

This quip, in and of itself is not that big a deal. But this isn't an isolated incident. This blog, and many, many, many others have dealt with Hoplin's scandals as the CRNC Chairman. Since he won anyway, most of us were hoping he turned over a new leaf and learned from his misconduct that it is counter-productive to the cause. It is terribly frustrating that his earliest introduction includes a silly, pointless, and easily refutable statement.

Hoplin, please... STOP! Just stop it. We get it, you think you're special. Now just do the job and ignore your first instinct to lie, embellish, spin or scheme. Just do the job and you'll do just fine.

Running Silent with the BlogFather

I feel I have already violated the hallmark of a good blog - regular postings. I allowed the last couple of days to lapse without putting up any new posts or even a blogdodge of a link without any commentary. I have only one excuse, regular human contact occurred the last couple of days. Thankfully, much of that time was spent with fellow bloggers, including my blogfather, Captain Ed.

So I will employ the oldest publishing trick in the book, if you want people to read you, write about them!

Captain Ed spoke to CFACT on Wednesday night about how the blogoshpere is providing a counter balance to the 'mainstream' media and how this might shake out. Before the blogs and talk radio the old media simply leaned hard to the left and lapses in truth were allowed to pass so long as the story fit the template. Take the CBS forged Killian memos. The old media was quick to accept these forged documents as new evidence because they already KNEW Bush was lying about his Guard record. Whoops.

Talk radio was great for the fact that it offered an editorial rebuttal to the old media in an entertaining manner - and also turned out to be a great financial model. Blogging is different. For one, a viable financial model of blogging has not emerged. But it also allows for the quick accumulation of expert analysis, research and opinion in a blog swarm.

The blog swarm is a force of nature, and why not? A diverse set of skills, talents, experience and expertise is far more likely to occur along an ideological spectrum than a specific profession such as journalism. After all, they are all journalists.

The old media doesn't much care for this level of accountability. Life is so much easier when no one's watching. You can be sloppy, you can push the news/editorial envelope, you can shape the story, and you can largely get away with just making things up to 'fit' the story. When exposed, you lose credibility. Lose credibility, lose your audience.

Captain Ed mentioned how the newspapers have officially lost 2% of their readership and supposes that those numbers are quite higher based on the newspaper circulation scandal. He suggests that diminished credibility is the driving force, but warns his fellow bloggers that the loss of credibility is far more crippling to the blogs. A blogger who lies, fakes it, or conveniently gets it wrong will lose readership far faster. Basic Marketing backs up this claim. The blogs are still a fluid product with thousands to choose from and while brand names exist, they don't yet have the power, weight and household recognition of the old media. As much as I like Powerline as a blogging brand, it doesn't hold a candle to the brand "Star Tribune".

But that might change. Captain Ed cited numbers that 32 million people read blogs and that blogger readership increased 58% over last year. With the eyeballs, go the advertising dollars, and the establishment of household brands.

The lessons of Captain Ed? Be a good writer, be truthful, be interesting, and do your homework. In the end, it is the new ideas backed up by research and insight that will build the blog.

Ode to the Shack

During the early AM hours of September 25, 1992 four irate men entered the pizzeria on Lake St. with hate in their hearts. Moments later they had executed Minneapolis Police officer Jerry Haaf with multiple gunshots to the back of his head. Thus the legend of the Pizza Shack began.

Last night at 3 AM the Pizza Shack closed its doors forever, only to be replaced by some burrito joint not named Chipotle. Some friends and I gathered there to pay our respects to the landmark and symbol the Pizza Shack had come to represent. As usual, we were lead by our fearless, and not so timeless leader - Orlando Ochoada.

The Pizza Shack was an initiation rite for many a young conservative that came through the University of Minnesota and joined Orlando's cabal. The trip to the Pizza Shack served many purposes. For one, it emboldened Orlando's mystique since he lived within walking distance of the grisly crime scene.

The Shack served as a mild form psychological torment for the young new members. Those from the suburbs were very much aware of the Shack's history and their mother's warnings for staying away from such places. Low level anxiety was visibly present on many a young face when they learned of their next meal. I must admit, I'd never had pizza at a crime scene before.

The Shack served as a retreat for the campus conservatives. It was assumed, and circumstantial evidence backed this up, there was no chance that our liberal foes would dare get dinner at such a place. While our liberal friends wanted to "help" minorities and the poor, they didn't actually want to be around them. Our rowdy political and strategic discussions must have entertained quite a few post-bar closing drunks and reefed up stoners who were fixing their late night pizza jones.

For the campus conservative, the Pizza Shack served as Diversity 101. Not the book bound kind in the ivory tower, but the kind found on the gritty, dirty, and dangerous inner city setting. The city bus regularly spilled it's contents right before our eyes outside the big pane windows. Meek hispanic workers, the proud old black guy in greased mechanics garb, the gruff black mother with her two children, the two twenty-something fat chicks who would blend into any trailer park in America, the 4 scary looking gang bangers and the lone hispanic tough glaring at them. Employees who at times screamed at each other and the customers. The dungeon like bathroom where Jimmy Hoffa's remains just might be stored. The stoners on harsh highs who suddenly screamed and smashed their plates on the table. The 'happy' highs that lead to spontaneous song and dance performances for all the patrons. And the constant flow of squad cars often with lights and sirens blaring in pursuit.

Finally, the Pizza Shack was a source of great entertainment. Poor Kyle never got comfortable, jumping at every noise, visibly shaken by clientele who approached to close to the table, and refusing to relieve his bloated bladder in the lonely, frightening confines of the subterranean bathroom. Then there was Lindsy, the black guy from Chicago who was scared of the black guys at the Shack. Talk about spooked by your own reflection...

And you know what? The pizza was pretty good too.
Good bye Pizza Shack, and God Bless

Molting Dragon

Admiral Yamata had a difficult task in 1941. Japan was an ascendant country and had taken its place as the only regional power of note. Unlike its primary rivals, Japan had the advantage of proximity to its conquests in China and in the Pacific. Britain and Russia were tied down in a European war and their ability to project power in the Far East was waning quickly. A great empire from Manchuria to Singapore on the mainland, and Sakhalin to New Zealand in the Pacific was ripe for the picking. A huge, Pacific Rim based empire was ready to fall into their laps... except for one little thing. The regional power on the other side of the Pacific.

In order to absorb this great Pacific Empire the Japanese had to neutralize America's ability to respond. Thus Yamata was tasked with the destruction of the United States Navy and the ensuing attack on Pearl Harbor. Yamata carried out his orders and executed brilliantly, but he knew something his leaders did not. Yamata had been to America, studied naval tactics in America, and knew America was no regional power - America was a Super Power waiting to happen. Yamata was far more eloquent (and probably used haiku) using the phrase "Sleeping Dragon" and his concern about waking it.

Well, the American Dragon is again wide awake, having been rudely disturbed from a long deserved slumber on 9/11. The Dragon is answering - in the affirmative- the question asked in the Middle East - "Does the dragon have sharp talons?"

But before 9/11, when the Dragon was just starting to doze off after a long tussle with the Russian Bear, a wary eye remained cast toward the dead dragon - China.

But China wasn't dead. Yes, it was old and tired. Yes it had been the prey of many lesser nations for the past few centuries, and yes the takeover by Moaists seemed to be the end of all hope, culture, and commerce. But in the last 30 years, China has begun to change and shed their old skin. Communism as an economic policy is dead. Commerce, both legitimate and black market flourishes. Economic growth and wealth have been coming in droves. Weapons technology and advancement have been achieved. Hong Kong has returned from imperialist rule and China is once again the premiere regional power. The Chinese Dragon is molting, and has nearly escaped from the old, heavy, and damaged skin to emerge as powerful, sleek, and dangerous.

The question is, what will this new China do? Will they act on their national sore spot that is Taiwan? Will they tussle with Vietnam over the Spratly Islands and the oil there? Will they challenge the US Navy for Supremecy in the Western Pacific? Will they take advantage of America's current conflict with Terrorism?

I honestly don't know. I'm somewhat surprised they didn't make a move on Taiwan when we were tied down in Iraq. But then maybe I'm looking in the wrong direction. For the last 10 years many Chinese have migrated north over the Russian border into Siberia. Russia has it's own illegal immigration problem much like the US, except it would be more like the Mexicans ending up in our empty states... like Montana and North Dakota. There is also a 'sex bomb' on the horizon. Chinese one-child policy has led to a population that is skewed more male since many female babies are abandoned or aborted. Interestingly enough, Russia's demographics have skewed female, with only 85 men per 100 women.

It's only a matter of time before all these sexually frustrated Chinese join the army and find a treasure chest of poon to their immediate north. We could have a major war with the sole purpose of getting some.

The fact that 1 billion Chinese live in a totalitarian state is terrible. We are fortunate that these people don't view suicide bombings as an honorable and useful piece of state craft. And largely because of that, their liberation is a lower priority. But we can't forget this is the case, and we need to continue with a wary eye even while we are fighting a more dangerous foe.

We have seen the end of communism, hopefully a democratic middle east will bring about the end of extremist islamo-fascism. Sadly, the future holds at least one more conflict with totalitarianism. Let's hope that our soft power of culture, commerce, and the internet will be enough bring about democracy and liberation.

Long Streaks

This weekend's Cubs/Red Sox series should have been a thing of beauty for fans of either team - of which I'm a HUGE Cubs fan. I'm proud to say that I only watched one inning of this inter-league apostasy. Must Bud Selig ruin everything that is sacred with chincy marketing moves like interleague play for a whole MONTH!!! Sheesh.

The only reason that game was special is because of the shared agony both teams had since the early 20th century. Of course the Red Sox escaped their doldrums last year thus leaving the White Sox as the other team to share agony with the Cubs, but the Cubs and White Sox aren't good at sharing anything, especially the city of Chicago.

So I propose another team to share agony with the Cubs - The Twins.

"WHAT-WHAT-WHAT! The Twins have won it ALL twice in the last 20 years!!!" - my reasonable readers might exclaim. But the agony the Twins have, is in that same amount of time they have not had one hitter - NOT ONE - who has hit 30+ Home Runs. (Kent Hrbek slammed 34 in the 1987 season).

I submit that the Cub's 96 year championship drought and the Twins 18 years of no 30+ homer hitters are as statistically significant (without doing any math).

My friend Marty blames the lack of Twins power on the hitting coaches. He points to the drought but then makes the fallacy of saying a whole bunch of hitters who left the Twins went on to hit 30 HR's. There are exactly... one... one hitter who has left the Twins and gone on to hit 30+ HR - David Ortiz.

There are many perfectly good reasons why the Twins don't have a 30+ HR hitter.

*Small Budget - Guys who you can project 30+ HR's tend to be older veterans who demand multi-year, $10M+ contracts. The Twins haven't been giving these contracts out unless you've won 20+ games.

*Power, strength and HR's tend to come with age. The Twins rely on young sluggers who generally become free agents before they hit their power stride. Torii Hunter and Jacque Jones will probably support this statement in the near future as former Twins.

I thought I had Marty bested with those arguments - namely economics and the reality of a young, inexpensive team. However, I fell into the same fallacy trap - if David Ortiz is the ONLY player from the Twins system since 87 to hit 30+, maybe it IS the coaches.

So I thought I 'd take a look at some similar small market teams.

KC Royals - Only 2 home grown KC players have 30+ since '87. Danny Tartabul, who was actually brought up in the Seattle system, but was acquired very early in his career, had 31 in 1990 and Bo Jackson had 32 in 1989. Gary Gaetti, Jermaine Dye, Chili Davis, and Dean Palmer all had 30+ seasons in the 90's, but with the exception of Dye, these were all free agents. Dye was picked up early in his career from Atlanta, so he might be count as a Royal system success.
I'll also throw in Carlos Beltran who hit 38 HR last year between KC and Houston

Total # of hitters who hit 30+ from the KC system - Tartabul, Dye, Jackson, Beltran

Milwaukee Brewers: Jeromy Burnitz, Richie Sexson, John Jaha, Geoff Jenkins, Greg Vaughn all had 30+ for the Brewers. Burnitz came up as a Met, Sexson as an Indian, the last 3 are all true blue Brewers.

Cincinnati developed these three power hitters since '87 - Adam Dunn, Eric Davis, Barry Larkin (33HR in '92!)

Detroit - Bobby Higginson, Tony Clark

I tire of looking up old stats. This quick look shows that developing just a few power hitters is about par for the course. But let's not stray the course too much, just one power hitter stinks, but its not completely out of the question.

A bigger factor may be the steroid culture. There's been reports that some team's farm systems encourage steroid use unofficially. Looking the other way, comments such as "if only you had 25 more pounds of muscle on you..." and the like.

While the lack of Twins power could have come from crappy coaching, it is also plausible that it came from coaches who didn't permit a steroid culture to take root in the farm system.

For the time being, I'm going to assume the best about the Twins. There's no reason not to.

Dog Walker Endorses...

Bill Pulkrabek is the man to lead the GOP.

I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Pulkrabek during my work with the Koemptgen campaign that encompassed the South leg of Maplewood and all of Oakdale. Pulkrabek was smart, gracious, and genuine. He carries himself with a quiet demeaner and dignity.

And he's done the job. As a Washington County commissioner he is credited with making Washington County the lowest taxed county in Minnesota. He also won mayoral terms of Oakdale - which is a 50/50 split partisan suburb. He's a winner, a conservative, and there is no dirt and he has the character that suggests there never will be.

Bill Pulkrabek - you have my endorsement for MN GOP Chairman

Hoplin II - Follow the $$$

This is my last post on Eric Hoplin. The election for MN GOP chair/vice-chair is this weekend. If he wins, I will shut up until the moment I can say, 'see, I told you so'. Hopefully the delegates will do the right thing. Hopefully this post helps.

After my post yesterday, I received all sorts of helpful emails and phone calls and most specifically this link addressing how the CRNC spent its money in the two years Hoplin was Chairman.

I feel particularly well qualified to put on the green eyeshade. I have an MBA from Notre Dame. An MBA is nothing short of a poo detector that can ferret out corruption, anomalies, and other potentially grievous errors in this age of Sarbannes-Oxley. I also happen to run a non-profit focused on the spread of ideas and not dissimilar in structure to the CR's - just significantly smaller.

I found three areas of concern:

FIRST AND FOREMOST! The CRNC raised $17.2M. Of that, $14.2M was spent on fundraising and only $2.5M was spent on the CR's. So the CRNC only got to spend 15 cents for every dollar they raised. This is bass-ackward. Look at the RNC last quarter - Raised $30M, spent $8M doing it ~ 25%. Johan Santana signed a 4 year, $40M deal ~ Agent got 15%. Even if you look at the break down of RDI for CRNC, $13M raised, $5M in expenses ~ 38%. Yeah that last number is a bit high, but I'm willing to write that off due to small donations vs. the larger ones the RNC gets. The main point, a 15% return on your fundraising is AWFUL. It should never happen. Why it was allowed to happen needs to be seriously looked at because it smacks of fraud, kick backs, or laundering. The bull-poo radar is off the charts with that number.

Second cause for concern - CRNC lists just under $174,000 in payroll taxes - or 34% of all money spent on payroll ~ $515,000. Uhhhh... payroll taxes are not 34%, not even in DC. Payroll taxes (FICA = social security+medicaid/medicare) are at roughly 14% and are split between the employee and the employer. So the employee pays 7% plus their regular federal and state income tax rates. These numbers, which might very well add up to 34%, would NOT be recorded by the employer. The employer would only record the 7% share of FICA.

So what the hell?!? Either the numbers are just WRONG and thus the CRNC gave the IRS bad info (rut-roh) or the number is right and... and what? Assuming the whole number of $174k is correct for the payroll tax line item, that would suggest a payroll number of $2,146,000 - not $515,000. Is the CRNC hiding over $1.5 MILLION in payroll?!? If so, who is getting it? The guy who controls the checkbook would be a good place to start looking...

And it makes sense. If you are going to bilk your organization out of money via large checks through payroll, you avoid getting busted on taxes a la Capone if the FICA is paid - all the sweeter if you get the organization you're bilking to pay the FICA! So if this is true, the embezzler would have no problems with an audit from the IRS - just fraud charges against the CRNC - how white collar.

And if there's not any fraud involved, why the HELL did the CRNC pay $135k more in payroll taxes than they had to? Even liberals don't do that!

Third Problem - Bad Management

Groups like CFACT and the CR's are similar in the sense that each has a mission and a message, and the most important part of a budget is those line items that promote the mission and message - namely employees and and message dollars (events, media, programs, campaigns, etc.) The rest is overhead (phone bill, office space, insurance, travel, computers, pencils, notebooks, accounting, legal fees, etc). The overhead is necessary, but is not indicative of how effective a group is. Most groups will try to maximize their people and mission dollars and minimize their overhead in order to focus more resources on mission and people.

For instance, in the coming year, CFACT will an overhead number at roughly 14%. Usually as an organization gets bigger, the overhead percentage will decrease. For instance, if you magically doubled CFACT's budget next year, I could drop my overhead number to 10%.

The CRNC operating budget is SIX times larger than CFACT's. And their mission/overhead split? 48% Mission - 52% Overhead. How bad are those numbers? Think of a bloated cow with lactose intolerance.

The best thing I can say about Hoplin - his inability to manage led to a financial disaster. The worst thing? Remember that bloated lactose cow? Just wait till it farts... everything stinks.

~Fin

CFACT + Bloggers = LUV

Allow me to put on my CFACT cap on for a moment. CFACT will be hosting blogger extraordinaire Captain Ed of the Captain's Quarters blog, next Wendesday June 15, 2005. The event is at 7PM and will be hosted in Room 303 of Coffman Union on the University of Minnesota Campus. The event is open and free to all.

Captian Ed will be discussing the role of blogs in reshaping the media, and since he will be speaking to a smattering of UMN bloggers, the topic of establishing an organized campus media blog to compete with the incompetent Minnesota Daily is likely to be discussed.

Come hear Captain Ed and then join us afterwards at the Big 10 for a more intimate discussion. Live blogging allowed and encouraged.

Hoplin?!? Good God...

As I promised yesterday, if you read mine, I'll read yours. Marty and Aaron took me up on that. Aaron has done a great bit of investigative reporting on the University of Minnesota's most recent efforts to circumvent the Southworth Supreme court case (much, much, MUCH more on this later). It seems their strategy of using the SAO staff to 'suggest' stacking the admin committee with conservatives to reduce their influence backfired this year and forced the big wigs in Morril to have to get their hands dirty and reverse decisons - thus exposing their rubric that the fees process is "student" driven and controlled. As we found out this year, only when the students are in lock step with the admin is the process "student" controlled.

And Marty, he had to hit a raw nerve with me. Eric Hoplin. Hoplin is currently the College Republican National Chairman and is running to be the vice-chair of the MN GOP under Ron Eibensteiner. Hoplin and I go way back. I believe I was a senior when I watched him get elected as MNCR chair. Then I graduated, but I didn't go away.

For the next two years, I saw as he and a couple of my friends butted heads over the UMN CR chapter till the schism occurred. I will admit, I was an instigator of this schism. I thought Hoplin was an overbearing ass trying to impose his will and his people on a chapter that had always been autonomous and independent. I put out a very public letter to that effect.

Anyway, he rose to prominence in the CR's, and I went my way with the whole CFACT thing.

We all know the story of Hoplin using a mail house that berated seniors and used about 90% of raised funds to raise more funds. Something like $7 million was raised with only about $700k actually being used for something other than more fund raising. This stinks to high heaven and I expected to find someone at the CR's getting a big chunk of that change, but my investigative powers (googling) and lack of bank records and subpeona power came up with nothing that could be called evidence. A Bare Naked Ladies song comes to mind...

"If I had subpeona power...
If I had subpeona power!
I'd put your ass on the stand,
ooooh in front of old judge Ito!"

Hoplin is about the hardest worker the CR's have ever had and he built a BIG organization. He is an effective operator who turned things around in Minnesota and sparked a resurgence nation wide with money and organziation and he helped Bush and a big group of GOP senators and congressmen get elected. Thanks to Hoplin the CR's matter.

But he has a fatal flaw. He is willing to use questionable/unethical/borderline legal means to achieve his ends. And this weakness will be exposed and will be terribly embarrasing to him, and determining how high he gets, a lot of Republicans. I thought the fund raising thing would do it. The Strib, the Washington Post, and a slew of other papers ran the story. The CR's were embarrassed. But it appears he has spin-controlled his way out it. Fortunately for Hoplin, he is too small a fish and his name rarely showed up in the stories. It was generally left to the state chairs to answer for the CR's in the paper.

Good for Hoplin for getting away with it, but if you don't get burned - you'll never learn. And I'm speaking from experience. Back in school I played the same fast and loose game with the rules in student government. It eventually had me in front of the group defending myself against impeachment proceedings. I survived impeachment, but my credibility was shot - and with that my effectivness was flushed down the toilet. This ruined the bloc of conservatives in student government that had been steadily gaining power, and I dare say the movement never recovered the footing we once had. The lesson I learned, PLAY BY THE RULES, written AND unwritten.

Fortunately, the loss of MSA was not a crippling blow to the conservative movement. And honestly, the loss of the CR's would not end the Reagan Revolution either.

But has Hoplin learned his lesson? Or will he continue fast and loose? And if he does so as an officer of the MN GOP, this could have an effect such as Bill Luther's ass-holery in 2002 when they openly ran a "No new tax" candidate who was blatantly there just to siphon off conservative votes from Kline. This little piece of LEGAL hoodwinkery cost a long term, EXTREMELY well funded incumbent his seat. In fact he was smoked scoring in the low 40's.

So when Hoplin gets busted doing something similiar between now and '06, what will that cost Republicans? The House? The Gov? A senate seat?

Let's not pooh-pooh this. We all saw how sensitive Minnesotans are to ideas like fair play when they turned out the DFL after the Wellstone funeral/pep rally. Minnesotan's found a funeral... A smurfing FUNERAL of all things... to be grounds for a major GOP tsunami.

Hoplin is a 9.0 under a large body of water waiting to happen. Hopefully the GOP delegates don't volunteer to be the shoreline.

Resistance is Futile... I have Been Blogged

It was your typical Tuesday evening in late April in Minnesota. As part of my duties with CFACT, we were hosting Jonah Goldberg from the National Reveiew Online to speak on campus. We had a packed house and out of curiosity we wanted to know from whence our audience came. About half said they saw the post on The Corner, another large chunk said Powerline. The rest said they got emails directly from our leaders (Marty and Aaron).

Not a single person mentioned the obnoxiously expensive ad we took out in the Minnesota Daily or the 1000 posters we put up, only to be covered up within hours by various bad alternative bands, gay pride events, and dorm room junk sales.

I have seen the power of the blog, and I acquiesce.

So here is my blog, and I must say, I am well suited for the job. My current position allows me to spend long hours in my underwear in front of a computer. Sure I could spend this blissful time reading YOUR blog, but why not share my special insights, wit, and disturbing mental visuals with you? Besides, I'll read yours if you read mine. Promise.

You may have noticed my title - "Dog Park Walker". This is pretty straight forward, I have a dog named Maggie (3-year old Beagle mixed with hound) and am a regular visitor to the local dog park. Yet this also works on another level (here comes that wit I promised). The dog park is just about the only place where I regularly interact with normal people... well, normal people with an unusual devotion to their pets.

Most of my friends and all of my colleagues are political activists of one strip or another. All of these people, including myself, live-work-breath-eat-and drink to excess politics. The dog park is great because it is an escape and nice microcosm of people from the poor to upper middle class - Micheal Moore loving liberals, to GL toting army reservists - whites, blacks, Hmong, and various other asians and a decent mix of ages and sex - not that I'm getting any. And from time to time, politics comes up and you get a good idea what the non-professionals are picking up and thinking. It is also a wonderful experimental environment for myself to try out new arguments and lines of inquiry.

Thus the name.

Anyway, topics you can expect to be addressed regularly include politics, the conservative movement, CFACT, dogs, dog park experiences, Twins, Cubs, Vikings, Gopher Hockey, History, MN politics, talk radio, and the state of higher education.